You Know You've Been In China Too Long When...

With my U.S. trip just 8 days away, I thought it good to reflect on the craziness of this place. Here are excerpts from a Jeff Foxworthy style list I found as well as some of my own observations. Mine are marked with TP.

You know you've been in China too long when...

You buy a round trip air ticket in China.

You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai.

You think singing Karaoke on Friday nights is fun.

You consider McDonalds a treat.

Chinese fashion starts looking hip.

Your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters.

You ask fellow foreigners the all-important question “How long have you been here?” in order to be able to properly categorize them.

Pollution, what pollution?

You stop enjoying telling newcomers to China ‘all about China’.

You think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser.(Dr. Pepper)

You have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills.

Someone doesn’t stare at you and you wonder why.

Forks feel funny.

Other foreigners give you a funny look when you tell them how long you’ve been here.

The Lunar Calendar ALWAYS takes precedence.

You can make elevators go faster by boarding first and taking over the controls.

Drilling on the walls in the wee small hours in the morning is considered acceptable behaviour.

You get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills.

You speak enough Chinese to make your colleagues laugh their heads off (attempts with anyone else still only draw blank stares).

TP:
Bootleg DVDs are no longer fun.

Sleeping in a hooded sweatshirt because the heat hasn't been turned on yet is normal behavior.

You think Colonel Sanders looks like a communist with all that red surrounding his picture that you see everywhere.

You call yourself an expat.

Buying a baked sweet potato on the side of the road off of some lady's bicycle does sound like a good idea.

The lady selling baked sweet potatos looks for you to come out of your office every night because she knows you will buy one.

You've eaten at the local Western style restaurant so many times that they bring the Dr. Pepper to your table before you even sit down.

Countdown Clock

So good you wanna....

With my upcoming US trip arriving in 2 weeks, I needed to finish up some Christmas shopping. I headed over to the Silk Market, one of the larger marketplaces in Beijing.

Along with some gifts and a new winter coat for myself, which according to the saleslady I look handsome in, I purchased a simple magic trick from a magic shop in the market. I won't say the name of the prop I bought on here so I don't reveal the secret but for my magic buddies it was a product commonly sold in U.S. magic shops that comes in a variety of textures, colors, and sizes and is made by Vernet. These weren't Vernet quality(try dollar tree quality), but since I didn't have one, I decided to haggle for it. He started his price at 85 (discount since I said I was a magician ). This is about 13 dollars. I offered him much lower and in his shock, he made a crucial mistake. He said "Sir you are magician, you know quality of this product." To which I responded, "Yes I do, and I know this one is not worth what you are asking." I got it for 40, still a little high but it came with a silk so I can't complain.

Now on to the real reason for my visit: FOOD. With this being a touristy area, I figured there would be some good western restaurants around. I walked around a bit in search of a place and amidst calls from street vendors to buy socks and dvds and one offer from a Chinese pimp to find sex for me, I found the restaurants. Mexican, no. Steak, no (even though according to the sign this place had "The best steak in town, probably." And then there it was: Tim's Texas Barbecue. I stepped in the place feeling like I had stepped into a King of the Hill episode. There were a couple of tables occupied, all foreigners (including one loud table of annoying Texan tourists debating Obama and Bush, why are tourists such dweebs?) I immediately sat down and ordered the brisket (the true measure of any place claiming to sell Texas bbq.) It didnt' dissappoint. The onion rings were the best I have ever had, the pinto beans and cornbread divine, and the meat tender and smokey tasting, and the spanish rice a unique side item for a bbq place. Now only if my mama had been there for me to slap her...

The Political Post...

Americans spoke yesterday; Barack Obama will become the 44th President of the United States. What does this mean for America? I don't know, but here are some things I do know:

We should pray for the president, whether we consider him to be worthy of the job or not.

The George Bush years are over! This can only be a good thing for the country and the world.

Barack Obama holds some ideals that I don't agree with (abortion and gay marriage).

Barack Obama holds some ideals that I do agree with (helping others and stronger healthcare)

How will those ideals play out? I hope they play out in a good way that truly unites our country. But in the end, its not about Barack, or me or you; It is about one man: Jesus Christ.
What I am sure of is that true change will only come when and only when people unite behind God:

2 Chronicles 7:14- my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.