You Know You've Been In China Too Long When...

With my U.S. trip just 8 days away, I thought it good to reflect on the craziness of this place. Here are excerpts from a Jeff Foxworthy style list I found as well as some of my own observations. Mine are marked with TP.

You know you've been in China too long when...

You buy a round trip air ticket in China.

You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai.

You think singing Karaoke on Friday nights is fun.

You consider McDonalds a treat.

Chinese fashion starts looking hip.

Your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters.

You ask fellow foreigners the all-important question “How long have you been here?” in order to be able to properly categorize them.

Pollution, what pollution?

You stop enjoying telling newcomers to China ‘all about China’.

You think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser.(Dr. Pepper)

You have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills.

Someone doesn’t stare at you and you wonder why.

Forks feel funny.

Other foreigners give you a funny look when you tell them how long you’ve been here.

The Lunar Calendar ALWAYS takes precedence.

You can make elevators go faster by boarding first and taking over the controls.

Drilling on the walls in the wee small hours in the morning is considered acceptable behaviour.

You get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills.

You speak enough Chinese to make your colleagues laugh their heads off (attempts with anyone else still only draw blank stares).

TP:
Bootleg DVDs are no longer fun.

Sleeping in a hooded sweatshirt because the heat hasn't been turned on yet is normal behavior.

You think Colonel Sanders looks like a communist with all that red surrounding his picture that you see everywhere.

You call yourself an expat.

Buying a baked sweet potato on the side of the road off of some lady's bicycle does sound like a good idea.

The lady selling baked sweet potatos looks for you to come out of your office every night because she knows you will buy one.

You've eaten at the local Western style restaurant so many times that they bring the Dr. Pepper to your table before you even sit down.